In a few short hours I will have my manuscript back from my editor. Through all the ups and downs I feel like this is just the beginning. I know I am going to go through a heck of a lot of changes, but it will be worth it.
There are so many people grasping at straws these days and it’s hard to find stable land. The only time I feel that I’m doing the right thing with my life is when I’m writing. When I let the words fly I surprise myself and gain a deeper insight into my own psyche.
Why did I make the characters like this? Why did I decide to make my MC act this way? Because it’s all me. Pieces of me in every character. Each one reacting how I would if I was shattered into a million pieces. I’m never more honest than when I’m writing even though I try to cover and cloak my characters it’s really just that. Thinly veiled I feel I might be called out for what I’m doing so I assume it best to confess before it starts.
I am the good, I am the bad, and I am the evil.
Within each of my characters there’s light and dark. And just as my heart can decide which one I will be I let the characters duke it out on my behalf. Some days I want the evil to win, wipe everyone out, start fresh. Then that glimmer, that light, that tiny ray of hope spills through till it becomes the power of a thousand suns.
The wars that I will wage in my own honour, to satisfy my own ego, thank goodness it’s all just paper.
We all have that within. Sometimes it feels like riding a lighting bolt for the story to unfold. Bucking and blistering, but it’s worth it, the pain is always worth it.
Just as this story comes back to me so shall it leave. The next time it does I will see it become stronger. My mettle will be tested and I will meet this challenge head on.
Let’s let a little blood flow and see where it takes us.